A Gay Wife

Yesterday I got an instant message from someone saying "whats up wife" and I was kind of taken back by it. It made me wonder "is that my role in gay society when it comes to being in a relationship? How did I get to that cast in that role...."the wife."

You have your variety of relationships within the gay community but one very common type of relationship between two men is one where one is the more masculine of the two and the other is a bit more on the femme side. Generally the masculine one is considered the husband and the femme one is considered the wife [or sometimes known as wifey]. Sometimes sexual roles also classify the husband and wife in the relationship with the husband being the top and the wife being the bottom, pretty much like a heterosexual relationship.

Compared to the people I have dated in the past, I have always dated men who were more masculine than I.....oOo and tall [6 footer oh yes!!!] and so if we were in a relationship I would have been considered the "wife". But what are the duties of said wife??? Of course like in heterosexual relationship stereotypes the gay wife would be the homemaker of the two. He would be the one to cook, clean, service and handle all the little things for themselves and their husband while the husband does all the manly masculine things.

As bottoms in the gay community are we really okay with that? Should we drop what goals and plans we have for ourselves and put our "husbands" and his needs up there priority wise? Or are we just accepting it because we are just living out a gay stereotype? What if we want to be the bread winner and have our top man cook for us, run our bath water and clean the house??